(Note: The latest is at the end)
1) Our gang -- We pose for a foto in our room with a lazy look that only the idiot-box can make us give (couch slouchs that we are !!)
2) Ziya Zhang in a B&W profile-- Osian film festival did the magic! I saw Ziya in Wong kar-wai's 2046 & fell head our heels in love with her! China, here I come.
3) Salma Hayek reclining against a wall and giving a seductive look-- How I wish I were the wall..Ptch.
4) Full shot of Katrina Kaif clad in a light blue saree and looking really beautiful -- Drool. Drool.
5) Bablu -- The 3 year kid next door, who taught me 100 ways to break things;-)
6) Lord Venkateshwara with his ladies -- God, exams are nearby.
7) B&W mid shot of Waters, Gilmour, Mason and Wright taken in 80's. -- Floyd rocks!!
8) Quote -- Dean Alfange speaks his mind and moves my heart. (Check it out at the bottom of the blog)
9) Che Guevara -- the rebel. mmm..what can I say?
10) Natalie Glebova's close-up shows her sparkling teeth, even as her fingers run through her flowing hair -- sorry Che, but she is really hot!!
--------
Quote:
"I do not choose to be a common man. It is my right to be uncommon. I seek opportunity to develop whatever talents God gave me -- not security. I do not wish to be a kept citizen, humbled and dulled by having the state look after me. I want to take the calculated risk; to dream and to build, to fail and to succeed. I refuse to barter incentive for a dole. I prefer the challenges of life to the guaranteed existence; the thrill of fulfillment to the stale calm of utopia. I will not trade freedom for beneficence nor my dignity for a handout. I will never cower before any earthly master nor bend to any threat. It is my heritage to stand erect, proud and unafraid; to think and act myself, enjoy the benefit of my creations and to face the world boldly and say -- `This, with God's help, I have done.' All this is what it means to be an American."
~ Dean Alfange (1899-1989), The famous American statesman
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November 16, 2005
November 12, 2005
I decide not to be
(Musing)
Me-Quote: I am doing what I have always wanted to do -- being jobless and drunk
I have always felt that when Shakespeare's Hamlet pronounces "to be or not to be", it is nothing but a choice one always faces in everyday life. Nevertheless, it's always "to be" that dominates one's thought process. I want to be an engineer, I want to marry a rich, beautiful girl, I want to buy branded clothes, I want to do this, I want to do that and so forth. And in the process one forgets the choice one has been bestowed with. It's no longer "to be or not to be", but it is "to be this or to be that", "to buy Reebok or to buy Adidas".
I guess if you have lost me somewhere in the first paragraph, let me put it in a more lucid way. We have zeroed down our choices to become mere commodities in the market. What we really think as choices aren't really so. It's just something your mamma says, papa says, best friend says, girl friend says, your colleague at office says. And more importantly it is always the conventions & customs that say. It's never your say. The choice that you think you have is really limited. You can't cross the threshold that society has fixed for you. Beyond a point there is no-entry. You are free to do whatever you wish to do as long as you don't cross the line.
For instance, you can either stay home and watch a dumb show on television or go out with people, and it's OK with the group, but no…you can't have your solitude and you can't be out alone. You go out for a movie alone, and weird faces you see. "What...you have come to the movie alone?" an acquaintance asks, and you would say "yah…none of my friends were interested, so that's it". And that’s all to trigger a you-are-loony look. What the hell? I mean, it isn’t like I don’t love company. It is lots of fun to be with friends, to go out together and watch movies, and I still cherish many of those wonderful moments. But that doesn't mean I can't go out alone, watch a movie and enjoy myself. I love my solitude as much as I love company. It doesn't matter how many weird looks I get, I am just the way I am. Anyway, the whole episode leaves one with a strong distasteful feeling inside. Maybe somewhere down the line I am looking for appreciation.
So, what do I do? Actually I have never got over the rebellious attitude I developed as a teenager. While at high school, I used to fight with my dad just to assert my independence. I would play all the evening and decide to study for a while at night and here comes my dad from office and say "Son, why don't you study for a while. You have board exams coming." That's all needed to wake up the rebel in me. The same me who was about to study a moment ago would close the books and switch on the TV and watch a stupid show or just simply sleep. From food I eat to books I read, from dress I wear to friends I am with, I used to assert my independence. All the way I hurt myself and my dad's feelings, 'coz many times his was the wiser decision. But I didn't give a damn, as I wanted to be independent then. And I am no different now. I mean, I am wise enough to ask others' opinion before I decide upon something and I do decide prudently. But finally it is going to be my choice all the way. And if what I choose goes against the social norms, what the heck? I don't give a damn.
Anyway it's so much fun to be off-beat. It is worth every bit of it, if only to see those funny looks on people's faces. There is some freshness and charm in being off-beat. It unleashes the creativity in you. It makes you feel live, if you know what I am saying. Totally charged up, like always on a high. I am not suggesting it's always harmless. But who the hell cares. If I have to choose between a cosy, conservative life with a happy-family-smiles-for-photo sort of living, and a life full of taking risks, going out and seeing new things, even if it means putting everything at stake, I would go for the latter any given day. So, I have decided not to be. To be a no one and I have no regrets. Because by being no one, I feel I am creating an identity of my own, if only it is that of a loser! It's just me for myself. I don't want to be cast in any mould that would stifle me to death. I want to break-free. I have already tried the conventional life for a while and it sucks. Everyone is suck into the deep mire, once they step in. You can't stop worrying about your next appraisal, your colleague's pay-check, the tagged shirts and brand new cars. Even following sports has become conventional. Believe it or not, I have seen people follow cricket to get accepted. Now come on, why would one want to even sacrifice one's hobbies to please others? I used to love cricket as a sport but very soon I became disinterested. I no longer want to be part of this great conspiracy.
Calvin-Quote: "The problem with Rock 'N 'Roll is that the generation that created it is now the establishment. Rock pretends it's still rebellious with its video posturing, but who believes it? The stars are 45-year-old zillionaires or they endorse soft drinks! The "revolution" is a capitalist industry! Give me a break! Fortunately, I've found some protest music for today's youth! This stuff really offends Mom and Dad!"
So here I am, jobless and drunk. I don't want to do any job that would make me sacrifice the inner-me that keeps questioning. I don’t know how long I will survive. I am not born with any silver spoon, and so I have to make out a living some way. Anyway I will try to give a good fight to do only what pleases me. I am happy to be jobless, that is to say in the conventional sense. I am happy to be drunk -- to get lost in the intoxicating world that is creative and defined by me. I decide not to be.
November 09, 2005
'Wushi' -- The Mist Warrior - Part 1
(Fiction)
Year: 1600 AD Circa, Place: Henan Province, China
It was all silent in the dense forests of Henan. It was an hour before the sun rise and a time when the beasts and men alike were in deep sleep. Even the majestic Hwang Ho (The Yellow River) that cut through the forest appeared to be brooding. Not far away from the flowing river, to the south of it was a Buddhist pagoda that blended with the serene surroundings. Standing on raised ground and having an octagonal base, it was a five-storey construction with a finial at the top. It was an imposing structure that had a striking appearance. But for the thick cover of trees shielding it from the view of boats sailing in the river, it would have made its presence felt immediately.
The pagoda added a strong sense of spirituality to an already serene location. The thick bushes were cleared from the bank of the river to pave a stone path till the flight of stairs that lead to the main entrance and front veranda of the pagoda. The ante-chamber was connected to an inside room with strong oak doors, where in the middle of the room stood a golden Buddha on a raised platform. The inside room also had stairs leading to chamber beneath the floor. The underground chamber contained Buddhist relics and ancient scriptures on Mahayana and Wushu. To the right side of the pagoda was a two-floor house made of wood and with a thatched roof. In front of the house was a large square-shaped ground that was cleared and hay strewn all across it.
Amidst the calmness of surroundings, Saomi Manchu's mind was racing with excitement and anticipation. Saomi was sleeping on a hay mat inside the wooden dwelling and could feel the chill of the cold winter morning. He was unable to sleep all night. His 12 year intense training in 'Wushu' had come to an end, and it was now time to take the final qualifying test. The coming 12 days would see him perform 3 tasks assigned by his master, which if he performs to the satisfaction of his master would make him a 'Wushi' – the mist warrior. Failing to do them might mean additional 12-year long training. Though competent enough, Saomi could feel the tension mounting. At an age of 24, Saomi was full of energy and vigour, but nothing could stop him from being as nervous as he was today. After all a Wushi too was a human. As dawn was approaching and Saomi heard the first bird sing, he decided it better to wake-up and do a final round of preparation before facing the ordeal.
While Saomi was all tensed up, Wun Yuen, his master was as calm as the rocks hit by Hwang Ho's flowing water. In fact, he was more than relaxed today as he prepared himself for his morning meditation. He had finally done his job. He successfully trained his successor for the past 12 years, and very soon it will be his time to retire.
His 60 years of life had made him see the tragedies and triumphs of life that were no way ordinary. Becoming a Wushi at an age of 24, Wun very soon came to be known for his intellect and wisdom. He was admired by the other 11 Wushis and was elected the leader amongst them. He was also influential in Chinese victories over the Japanese invaders and was much revered by the Chinese Emperor Wangli of Ming Dynasty. Zhu Yuen, the master of Shaolin Temple of Henan was a great friend of Wun and treated him with respect deserved by an equal. While Zhu excelled in Kung Fu, Wun was the best in Wushu. At 48, after 24 years of active life fighting for the good cause and protecting China from becoming an anarchistic state, Wun Yuen found his pupil in young Saomi. No sooner had he brought the boy from Shenyang, the capital of Manchus and started training him in the Wushu monastery in Jianking (Nanjing) of Jiangsu province, than tragedy struck the Wushu masters. All the Wushu masters were killed one after another, until only Wun Yuen remained. It came as a rude shock to Wun Yuen, as Wushu itself was known in very few quarters and the details of training, monasteries, scriptures and masters was kept a secret and shrouded in mystery. How could anyone possibly break in? Unable to grasp the sinister plot and unwilling to go after the mystic opponent, as it might risk the very existence of Wushu, Wun Yuen decided to go underground. In a ploy to beat his mystic opponent, Wun Yuen acted his own death and left Jiangsu province for Henan. He reached the Shaolin Temple and with the help of his dear friend Zhu Yuen, the master of Shaolin Temple, started living near to the temple to the south of the river Hwang Ho.
For the past 12 years since the great tragedy, Wun Yuen spent all his waking hours in either deep meditation or training his single pupil, Saomi Manchu. Wun was so far able to shield his identity, as there were no further attacks on him or his pupil. It was in this peaceful setting that Wun Yuen trained Saomi to master the physical, mental and spiritual aspects of Wushu.
Wushu, was an ancient Chinese art form and meant ‘drawing the sword in the mist’. The masters of Wushu were called Wushi or the mist warriors. In Wushu, the sword swinger fights the early morning mist using his long sword. Albeit it appears physical, it requires a great deal of mental rigour, restraint and discipline from the sword swinger. It’s always easy to fight an opponent you can see, but how can you fight the mist, which is there and not there, which is seen yet unseen? Thus in Wushu, one had to master both the physical and mental while trying to attain a spiritual perfection, which was both the means and the end of Wushu. Wushu transformed a swinger into a meditative person and an introvert, who could look inside and cut through the ignorance and petty feelings. It made man an enlightened being like 'Buddha'.
Wushu, was started by Chih-I, a contemporary of Bodhidharma in 6th century AD. Both of them were proponents of Mahayana Buddhism. But, while Bodhidharma propounded Zen Buddhism with an emphasis on Ch’an or cessation/meditation, Chih-I called for a balance of both Zen and Lotus Sutra (Contemplation). Thus he propounded Chih-Kuan (Cessation and Contemplation). Even as Bodhidharma started Shaolin temple on Mt. Songshan in Dengfeng, Henan Province, Chih-I began 12 lineages of Wushu to reach the spiritual. As a tradition, a Wushu master could take only one student in his entire life time and train him to become his successor. Except for the first master, Chih-I, who formed 12 lineages, a one to one relation was always maintained. This one to one relation has always had the benefits of constant attention by the master to the pupil and an unflinching loyalty by the pupil to the master. Thus in spite of 1000 years of its existence, Wushu still remained a non-entity for many.
Wushu masters were generally initiated as a Wushi (master of Wushu) by the age of 24 years, by which time they would have had completed 12 year training under a Wushu master and passed the three qualifying tests. As a rule, a Wushu master remained a celibate all his life completely unattached to his family. The next 24 years were spent by the masters making sure peace and goodness prevailed in the land. This was to ensure that the social conditions were conducive enough for the common people to become spiritual and involve in the higher task of finding oneself and the truth. Thus they served as social auditors for 24 years, traveling the length and breadth of the country, after which Wushi would search for a right student to impart him the knowledge and transfer him the legacy. Once the right student was found, they would go reclusive and would devote all their time to meditation and training their pupils. As soon as the pupil passed the test and became a Wushi, they could retire from the material world and spend rest of their lives meditating and finally become enlightened.
It was this thought of able to spend the rest of his life meditating and the satisfaction derived by finishing a job perfectly, which made Wun Yuen relax and smile. Wun was more than confident that Saomi would easily pass the three tests to qualify as a Wushu master. Nevertheless, Wun was cautious that anything might happen. It might be possible that the mystic opponent was waiting for the right time to strike. What other time could be best than an initiation ceremony of the last Wushu master? This very thought made Wun's brows come close in a musing. He felt a need to do something to prevent another catastrophe. Though frail and weak physically, Wun was still very powerful and could be much formidable to any mystic opponent, no matter how powerful the opponent might be. Wun was a great warrior and more than that a very discerning person. It was this wisdom that has made him not go on the trail of revenge and stay back to prevent Wushu from getting extinct. And it was this wisdom that was now weaving a web in his mind to catch the mystic opponent. Very soon a smile came up on Wun Yuen’s wrinkled face as he sat down to do his morning meditation. Finally it was time to strike back.
(To be continued)
Year: 1600 AD Circa, Place: Henan Province, China
It was all silent in the dense forests of Henan. It was an hour before the sun rise and a time when the beasts and men alike were in deep sleep. Even the majestic Hwang Ho (The Yellow River) that cut through the forest appeared to be brooding. Not far away from the flowing river, to the south of it was a Buddhist pagoda that blended with the serene surroundings. Standing on raised ground and having an octagonal base, it was a five-storey construction with a finial at the top. It was an imposing structure that had a striking appearance. But for the thick cover of trees shielding it from the view of boats sailing in the river, it would have made its presence felt immediately.
The pagoda added a strong sense of spirituality to an already serene location. The thick bushes were cleared from the bank of the river to pave a stone path till the flight of stairs that lead to the main entrance and front veranda of the pagoda. The ante-chamber was connected to an inside room with strong oak doors, where in the middle of the room stood a golden Buddha on a raised platform. The inside room also had stairs leading to chamber beneath the floor. The underground chamber contained Buddhist relics and ancient scriptures on Mahayana and Wushu. To the right side of the pagoda was a two-floor house made of wood and with a thatched roof. In front of the house was a large square-shaped ground that was cleared and hay strewn all across it.
Amidst the calmness of surroundings, Saomi Manchu's mind was racing with excitement and anticipation. Saomi was sleeping on a hay mat inside the wooden dwelling and could feel the chill of the cold winter morning. He was unable to sleep all night. His 12 year intense training in 'Wushu' had come to an end, and it was now time to take the final qualifying test. The coming 12 days would see him perform 3 tasks assigned by his master, which if he performs to the satisfaction of his master would make him a 'Wushi' – the mist warrior. Failing to do them might mean additional 12-year long training. Though competent enough, Saomi could feel the tension mounting. At an age of 24, Saomi was full of energy and vigour, but nothing could stop him from being as nervous as he was today. After all a Wushi too was a human. As dawn was approaching and Saomi heard the first bird sing, he decided it better to wake-up and do a final round of preparation before facing the ordeal.
While Saomi was all tensed up, Wun Yuen, his master was as calm as the rocks hit by Hwang Ho's flowing water. In fact, he was more than relaxed today as he prepared himself for his morning meditation. He had finally done his job. He successfully trained his successor for the past 12 years, and very soon it will be his time to retire.
His 60 years of life had made him see the tragedies and triumphs of life that were no way ordinary. Becoming a Wushi at an age of 24, Wun very soon came to be known for his intellect and wisdom. He was admired by the other 11 Wushis and was elected the leader amongst them. He was also influential in Chinese victories over the Japanese invaders and was much revered by the Chinese Emperor Wangli of Ming Dynasty. Zhu Yuen, the master of Shaolin Temple of Henan was a great friend of Wun and treated him with respect deserved by an equal. While Zhu excelled in Kung Fu, Wun was the best in Wushu. At 48, after 24 years of active life fighting for the good cause and protecting China from becoming an anarchistic state, Wun Yuen found his pupil in young Saomi. No sooner had he brought the boy from Shenyang, the capital of Manchus and started training him in the Wushu monastery in Jianking (Nanjing) of Jiangsu province, than tragedy struck the Wushu masters. All the Wushu masters were killed one after another, until only Wun Yuen remained. It came as a rude shock to Wun Yuen, as Wushu itself was known in very few quarters and the details of training, monasteries, scriptures and masters was kept a secret and shrouded in mystery. How could anyone possibly break in? Unable to grasp the sinister plot and unwilling to go after the mystic opponent, as it might risk the very existence of Wushu, Wun Yuen decided to go underground. In a ploy to beat his mystic opponent, Wun Yuen acted his own death and left Jiangsu province for Henan. He reached the Shaolin Temple and with the help of his dear friend Zhu Yuen, the master of Shaolin Temple, started living near to the temple to the south of the river Hwang Ho.
For the past 12 years since the great tragedy, Wun Yuen spent all his waking hours in either deep meditation or training his single pupil, Saomi Manchu. Wun was so far able to shield his identity, as there were no further attacks on him or his pupil. It was in this peaceful setting that Wun Yuen trained Saomi to master the physical, mental and spiritual aspects of Wushu.
Wushu, was an ancient Chinese art form and meant ‘drawing the sword in the mist’. The masters of Wushu were called Wushi or the mist warriors. In Wushu, the sword swinger fights the early morning mist using his long sword. Albeit it appears physical, it requires a great deal of mental rigour, restraint and discipline from the sword swinger. It’s always easy to fight an opponent you can see, but how can you fight the mist, which is there and not there, which is seen yet unseen? Thus in Wushu, one had to master both the physical and mental while trying to attain a spiritual perfection, which was both the means and the end of Wushu. Wushu transformed a swinger into a meditative person and an introvert, who could look inside and cut through the ignorance and petty feelings. It made man an enlightened being like 'Buddha'.
Wushu, was started by Chih-I, a contemporary of Bodhidharma in 6th century AD. Both of them were proponents of Mahayana Buddhism. But, while Bodhidharma propounded Zen Buddhism with an emphasis on Ch’an or cessation/meditation, Chih-I called for a balance of both Zen and Lotus Sutra (Contemplation). Thus he propounded Chih-Kuan (Cessation and Contemplation). Even as Bodhidharma started Shaolin temple on Mt. Songshan in Dengfeng, Henan Province, Chih-I began 12 lineages of Wushu to reach the spiritual. As a tradition, a Wushu master could take only one student in his entire life time and train him to become his successor. Except for the first master, Chih-I, who formed 12 lineages, a one to one relation was always maintained. This one to one relation has always had the benefits of constant attention by the master to the pupil and an unflinching loyalty by the pupil to the master. Thus in spite of 1000 years of its existence, Wushu still remained a non-entity for many.
Wushu masters were generally initiated as a Wushi (master of Wushu) by the age of 24 years, by which time they would have had completed 12 year training under a Wushu master and passed the three qualifying tests. As a rule, a Wushu master remained a celibate all his life completely unattached to his family. The next 24 years were spent by the masters making sure peace and goodness prevailed in the land. This was to ensure that the social conditions were conducive enough for the common people to become spiritual and involve in the higher task of finding oneself and the truth. Thus they served as social auditors for 24 years, traveling the length and breadth of the country, after which Wushi would search for a right student to impart him the knowledge and transfer him the legacy. Once the right student was found, they would go reclusive and would devote all their time to meditation and training their pupils. As soon as the pupil passed the test and became a Wushi, they could retire from the material world and spend rest of their lives meditating and finally become enlightened.
It was this thought of able to spend the rest of his life meditating and the satisfaction derived by finishing a job perfectly, which made Wun Yuen relax and smile. Wun was more than confident that Saomi would easily pass the three tests to qualify as a Wushu master. Nevertheless, Wun was cautious that anything might happen. It might be possible that the mystic opponent was waiting for the right time to strike. What other time could be best than an initiation ceremony of the last Wushu master? This very thought made Wun's brows come close in a musing. He felt a need to do something to prevent another catastrophe. Though frail and weak physically, Wun was still very powerful and could be much formidable to any mystic opponent, no matter how powerful the opponent might be. Wun was a great warrior and more than that a very discerning person. It was this wisdom that has made him not go on the trail of revenge and stay back to prevent Wushu from getting extinct. And it was this wisdom that was now weaving a web in his mind to catch the mystic opponent. Very soon a smile came up on Wun Yuen’s wrinkled face as he sat down to do his morning meditation. Finally it was time to strike back.
(To be continued)
November 08, 2005
The trouble with No. 1
Review of Shaadi No. 1, Dir: David Dhawan, Starring: Sanjay Dutt, Fardeen Khan, Zaved, Eisha
I really donno why I am even writing a review for this god-damn movie. Somehow, i hate the idea of being associated in anyway with the fucking movie. But again, it was too much holding it for long. I needed to get out the steam before it blew me nuts. It all happened last friday, when I cajoled my frnd into the movie. I had no face to show him after the movie. He would never forgive me and I would never forget Dhawan's betrayal!!
Shaadi no. 1 is an insult to intelligence. Any man in his senses would find it absurd. Its not the cheap jokes or sleaze that i feel bad about, but its the way the movie is made, as if audience has some degenerative brain disease that would make them lap up anything being shown. The worst thing and most shocking to my conscience is the way the movie has become a hit!! (as pronounced in many quarters) It defies logic.
To start with the movie is no way realistic. One doesn't understand how people even relate to such characters who try to commit suicide, apparently seem to be jobless, yet manage to live in designer bungalows, wear fancy dresses and ride high-power bikes. It all just doesn't fit. & then these 3 characters (Fardeen, Zahed & donno the third chap's name - & i now don't even care) fail to get their act (commiting suicide!) straight. What's shown are PJs - poor jokes. (Can u imagine..one tries to die by swallowing rat poison, & he wudn't die because the rat poison is expired. what kinda fucking joke is that!! its so stupid. & then they all try to die by sleeping on the rail tracks..and the train passes thro' the next track. Now come on, how many times have we seen this happen!! its a cliche` so much overdone, one knew it coming long before one heard the word 'suicide' being uttered. It was god damn unbearable & add to it the horrible acting of the three-some! it becomes nothing short of disgusting.)
Now comes Satish Shah..one more chap trying to commit suicide but rescued by the bunch. His three silly problems (really absurd they are. like his 'hair oil' brand is a flop as it removes hair & blah blah) forcing him to try suicide. Our heroes with their bright IQs solve the matter (market the hair oil as hair remover!! I am sure they don't teach these marketing strategies in IIMs) & they get jobs in Shah's office.
Now, its time for masala & more PJs. David dhawan has 3 cute ladies with least of moral scruples to help him in his make-masses-happy scenes. As one is bombarded with the worst jokes & dance numbers ( actually, one also gets to see angrezi sleaze..the latest mania in bollywood)
& then..Satish Shah has yet another 3 problems. Guess what!! his three daughters. Their living abroad has made their moral index hit the bottom & are now so horny! (..as one gets to see as the movie progresses. I mean, come on, living abroad ain't the same as lack of any fidelity and senses. His three daughters are more than happy to start smooching the first lad they come across and rescues them from trouble. How I wish I find some of these specimen in Delhi!!) & guess what !! we see Satish Shah deriving vicarious pleasures seeing his daughters' sex-acts with our three amigos..who by the way are sent abroad by our very own Satish Shah to make his daughters fall in love. This way he plans to make his i-want-love-marriage girlies hate love & thus make them tow his line & make them marry the lads he chooses. Bright chap our Satish Shah is!!
So what follows is same masala and sleaze in videshi locations. Man..its such a fun, watching these numbers. I mean, the on-lookers, poor chaps are so confused with our fellas' rock-n-roll as if half drunk in the main roads & restaurants abroad. One happens to find the dumbstruck faces of the crowd more amusing than the routine dances. I would go to the extent of calling it the best part of the movie.
After getting bored abroad, we are now transferred to Indian resorts for more masala & sleaze. By the way Sanjay Dutt is also introduced by now. Poor fella, must have obliged to this muvie 'coz of Dhawan saab, who makes a fool out of our sanjay babu. Anyway, after all the forgettable script & scenes, Sanjay Dutt is the only one who comes unscraped. Sanjay dutt acts bhayya to wives of our heros, and trying to help them realise the infidelity of our heros, who have now resolved to marry Satish Shaw's daughters.
Few more PJs follow. The dialogue is verbose, non-spontaneous. Comedy flat. By now one is dying to get the hell out of the theatre. Finally one is blessed, as the infidelity of our heros is exposed and our heros realise their mistakes, not before they break their limbs.
One feels outraged, & betrayed of one's money after coming out of theatre. How dare David Dhawan makes such a stupid & farcical movie & has the guts to wish us a happy diwali&Eid. When there are so many brilliant and fascinating things to show, when one has a chance to cast magic, all Dhawanji does is make cobwebs!! I say, its such a waste...of both the producer's and the viewer's money & time. Why can't one make more stimulating movies..different genres. & fresh & subtle comedy. why the hell do our viewers patronise such flicks?? Its all absurd.
Anyway, when one comes out of the hall, one is reminded of the famous pronouncement of Calvin's dad in Calvin&Hobbes. It goes something like this, "The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse." So if u really feel bad abt ur work & life, then certainly go and watch the flick. I am sure u will be a lot more happy man after 3 hours. Otherwise, simply forget it. Shaadi no.1 is a nightmare. Believe me. I am still having nightmares. Maybe writing this blog will help.
I really donno why I am even writing a review for this god-damn movie. Somehow, i hate the idea of being associated in anyway with the fucking movie. But again, it was too much holding it for long. I needed to get out the steam before it blew me nuts. It all happened last friday, when I cajoled my frnd into the movie. I had no face to show him after the movie. He would never forgive me and I would never forget Dhawan's betrayal!!
Shaadi no. 1 is an insult to intelligence. Any man in his senses would find it absurd. Its not the cheap jokes or sleaze that i feel bad about, but its the way the movie is made, as if audience has some degenerative brain disease that would make them lap up anything being shown. The worst thing and most shocking to my conscience is the way the movie has become a hit!! (as pronounced in many quarters) It defies logic.
To start with the movie is no way realistic. One doesn't understand how people even relate to such characters who try to commit suicide, apparently seem to be jobless, yet manage to live in designer bungalows, wear fancy dresses and ride high-power bikes. It all just doesn't fit. & then these 3 characters (Fardeen, Zahed & donno the third chap's name - & i now don't even care) fail to get their act (commiting suicide!) straight. What's shown are PJs - poor jokes. (Can u imagine..one tries to die by swallowing rat poison, & he wudn't die because the rat poison is expired. what kinda fucking joke is that!! its so stupid. & then they all try to die by sleeping on the rail tracks..and the train passes thro' the next track. Now come on, how many times have we seen this happen!! its a cliche` so much overdone, one knew it coming long before one heard the word 'suicide' being uttered. It was god damn unbearable & add to it the horrible acting of the three-some! it becomes nothing short of disgusting.)
Now comes Satish Shah..one more chap trying to commit suicide but rescued by the bunch. His three silly problems (really absurd they are. like his 'hair oil' brand is a flop as it removes hair & blah blah) forcing him to try suicide. Our heroes with their bright IQs solve the matter (market the hair oil as hair remover!! I am sure they don't teach these marketing strategies in IIMs) & they get jobs in Shah's office.
Now, its time for masala & more PJs. David dhawan has 3 cute ladies with least of moral scruples to help him in his make-masses-happy scenes. As one is bombarded with the worst jokes & dance numbers ( actually, one also gets to see angrezi sleaze..the latest mania in bollywood)
& then..Satish Shah has yet another 3 problems. Guess what!! his three daughters. Their living abroad has made their moral index hit the bottom & are now so horny! (..as one gets to see as the movie progresses. I mean, come on, living abroad ain't the same as lack of any fidelity and senses. His three daughters are more than happy to start smooching the first lad they come across and rescues them from trouble. How I wish I find some of these specimen in Delhi!!) & guess what !! we see Satish Shah deriving vicarious pleasures seeing his daughters' sex-acts with our three amigos..who by the way are sent abroad by our very own Satish Shah to make his daughters fall in love. This way he plans to make his i-want-love-marriage girlies hate love & thus make them tow his line & make them marry the lads he chooses. Bright chap our Satish Shah is!!
So what follows is same masala and sleaze in videshi locations. Man..its such a fun, watching these numbers. I mean, the on-lookers, poor chaps are so confused with our fellas' rock-n-roll as if half drunk in the main roads & restaurants abroad. One happens to find the dumbstruck faces of the crowd more amusing than the routine dances. I would go to the extent of calling it the best part of the movie.
After getting bored abroad, we are now transferred to Indian resorts for more masala & sleaze. By the way Sanjay Dutt is also introduced by now. Poor fella, must have obliged to this muvie 'coz of Dhawan saab, who makes a fool out of our sanjay babu. Anyway, after all the forgettable script & scenes, Sanjay Dutt is the only one who comes unscraped. Sanjay dutt acts bhayya to wives of our heros, and trying to help them realise the infidelity of our heros, who have now resolved to marry Satish Shaw's daughters.
Few more PJs follow. The dialogue is verbose, non-spontaneous. Comedy flat. By now one is dying to get the hell out of the theatre. Finally one is blessed, as the infidelity of our heros is exposed and our heros realise their mistakes, not before they break their limbs.
One feels outraged, & betrayed of one's money after coming out of theatre. How dare David Dhawan makes such a stupid & farcical movie & has the guts to wish us a happy diwali&Eid. When there are so many brilliant and fascinating things to show, when one has a chance to cast magic, all Dhawanji does is make cobwebs!! I say, its such a waste...of both the producer's and the viewer's money & time. Why can't one make more stimulating movies..different genres. & fresh & subtle comedy. why the hell do our viewers patronise such flicks?? Its all absurd.
Anyway, when one comes out of the hall, one is reminded of the famous pronouncement of Calvin's dad in Calvin&Hobbes. It goes something like this, "The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse." So if u really feel bad abt ur work & life, then certainly go and watch the flick. I am sure u will be a lot more happy man after 3 hours. Otherwise, simply forget it. Shaadi no.1 is a nightmare. Believe me. I am still having nightmares. Maybe writing this blog will help.
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